All week my friend has been on my mind but I kept finding excuses to not make that damn call. I began with being busy at work and many other reasons. She is a kindred spirit.. So like myself, when troubled, she drifts back to her cocoon and getting her to talk is a task. So today, she reached out.. But that sounded a lot like goodbye. She has done what I do a lot of times and sadly I don’t know what is happening in her life. I have failed in being a good friend and I am devastated.
I don’t have many friends because I just don’t know how to work on these relationships. I could be thinking about my friend but I just can’t bring myself to check on them. Maybe I’ll stalk them on social media and assess how they are doing.. Well, for some people it’s very easy to know how they are doing by looking at their page.. They are somewhat close to an open book. At other times I write people off for very irrational reasons e.g they never make contact. If we are to have a conversation, then I will have initiated it. I forget that at times people are going through issues and they are hoping that someone would at least check on them.
I’m online, your online but pride is also online. So we won’t say hi
Sometimes it’s pride.. You feel super important.. if people want you in their life then they should prove it. In the process we burn bridges that would come in handy some time in the future.
At other times we are just busy. Over and over again I have foregone being there for my friends because I felt there were more pressing issues to deal with. In other words, I was busy.
I would resonate with the deathbed essay attributed to Steve Jobs. In the essay, he says
The wealth I have won in my life I can’t bring with me. What I can bring along is only the memories precipitated by love.
Truth be told, memories get us through some of the toughest times in our lives. There are times I go through my gallery and smile when I remember time spent with friends and captured in pictures.
The essence of this piece of writing is to stir us into intentionality in our relationships at whatever capacity. Friendship is a lot of work; it requires both compromise and sacrifice but most of all it gives you an opportunity to participate in something bigger than yourself… participating in the life of someone else and having a significant influence.
So go forth and nurture meaningful relationships. Kindle the candles that life has put off and fan those that are dim.
